DEAR MHESH.

 FINDING ME ; A MEMOIR

VIOLA DAVIS

AUTOBIOGRAPHY, BIOGRAPHY

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"

May you live long enough to know why you were born." - Chekoree Birth Blessings

"Jump, and you'll find out how to unfold your wings as you fall." - Ray Bradbury

"If you want to identify me,ask me not where i live,or what i like to eat,or how i comb my hair,but ask me what i am living for,in detail, ask me what i think is keeping me from living fully for the thing i want to live for." - Thomas Merton 

Hello and welcome to this week's review.How are you holding up?.Thank you for being here today and for always supporting the blog.Super excited and pumped to be writing this review so let's get into it,shall we?

Photo credit: Sounds of series. 

A week ago , i picked up this book and believe me when i say that it was a smooth read.It was the best time to have read it.

Finding Me is a story of acceptance of oneself.From the first page it is a story of resilience,determination and the will power to love and accept oneself.The 17 chapters contained here in are a testament of Viola's journey of self acceptance.Her life from the apartment in Rhode Island to New York City is one that has not been easy.

"Memories are immortal.They are deathless and precise.They have the power of giving you joy and perspective in hard times…"

Her childhood and even part of adulthood is characterized by so many struggles that have ranged from her father's alcoholism, domestic abuse,sexual abuse, poverty, dysfunction,trauma ,racism,anger, betrayal, forgiveness, abortion and career..She lays herself out vulnerably and you just have to give it to her for her honesty.It takes so much courage to strip yourself and allow others in to such deep levels.This is a story of real bravery,pride,humility and love.

"

I was unsettled.I was an awkward,angry,hurt traumatized kid.I couldn't articulate what i was feeling and nobody asked.I didn't believe anybody cared.I was saturated in shame."

"My career mirrored my childhood.My blackness was as much an issue on stage and screen as it was in my childhood.It became apparent to me that all those things that were within me still needed healing, and it also became frighteningly obvious that God was using me to be a leader in the area where i very much felt a victim."

My favourite part of this book has to be Chapter 7 that is titled The Sisterhood.Viola and her sisters Deloris,Dianne,Anita and Danielle had this comradeship that you can't help but admire.They had each other's back no matter the circumstances they found themselves in;good or bad.The camaraderie is one that i found pride in.

"

Some battles we won–survived together and emerged with laughter and perspective,and some brutal ones–sexual abuse –we lost."

"My sisters became my platoon.We were in a war, fighting for significance.Each of us was a soldier fighting for our value, our worth.We were all in it together;we all needed one another.None of us could fight individually.I know i didn't have enough strength.We were fighting with seen and unseen enemies

."

 Domestic,sexual abuse and racism seem to have been the struggles that Viola,most often than not,dealt with and lost to an extend.At the beginning of the book,she tells a story of how her classmates would chase her down the road and when they caught up to her,they would heckle her and call her all sorts of names.It didn't help that they were poor.

"It was a powerful memory because it was the first time my spirit and heart were broken.I defined myself by the fear and rage of those boys.I felt ugly.I felt unwanted,even by God.I wanted so badly to fit into this world,but instead i was being spit like vomit.Who i was offended them.The memory burrowed itself inside me and metastasized.It didn't help that i was running back to a home that seemed to cement all the horrific things those boys said about me."

"We were "Po". That's a level lower than poor."

"There is an emotional abandonment that comes with poverty and being black.The wait of generational trauma and having to fight for your basic needs doesn't leave room for anything else.You just believe you are leftovers."

"When you are clutching to live,morals go out the window."

"The invisibility of the one-two punch that is blackness and poverty is brutal.Mix that with being hungry all the damn time and becomes combustible.

Later in the story she was able to move away from Rhode island and establish herself as a great actress.It was evident, however, that things had yet to change and she had work to do within herself.

"There i was,a working actress with steady gigs, .Broadway credits, multiple awards,and a reputation of bringing professionalism and excellence to any project.Hell, Oprah knew who i was.Yet, sitting there conversing with Will Smith,i was still that little, terrified,third-grade Black girl.And though i was many years and many miles away from Central Falls,Rhode Island,i had never stopped running.My feet just stopped moving."

"My biggest discovery was that you can literally re-create your life.You can redefine it.You don't have to live in the past."

The story flows from chapter to chapter,page after page but what remains clear is that sexual violence,to this day remains shrouded in silence and shame.It didn't have a name back then and it doesn't have one,even now.What saddens me is that it is a world wide prevalence.

Viola's journey is one that has been riddled with pain but also with victory,success and pride and by sharing her story,we get to know her on a deeper level.This is a memoir i would highly recommend.

That's it for this week.You can share with me your thoughts on the book.I'll see you here next week.Until then ,take care of you,your heart and your mental health.Lots of love,Bye.

Let's interact on the socials.Plug in 

@M.w.e.l.u_ on Instagram

@EstherMwelu on Twitter

Esther Mwelu,

27th October,2022.